Sexuality.

Episode 2 : Intimacy.

What does it mean to you? For some people, intimacy means anything that has to do with “private parts”. Intimacy for them could be brushing up against someones tits in a theme park line. For others, it means something very specific. Some people don’t feel there’s anything sexual about showering together, but if you touch their feet, they blush.

Considering the amazing varieties of experiences there are , there’s a lot of things we could talk about today. I’m going to start with examining intimacy in the context of the average North American, independent, non virgin woman if you don’t mind ;). What makes something intimate? There are several things that factor in to intimacy. I find the main things to be proximity, context, and emotion. If any of the other two are lacking, another needs lots to make up for the lack, and sometimes it doesn’t give the same feeling.

For example, I’m in that theme park line, and I’m standing next to the hottest girl I’ve seen in my life. There isn’t any emotion, I’ve never seen her before, but her body oh lord it’s got all the right curves in all the right places. I can see her nipples underneath the thin shirt she’s wearing. She doesn’t notice me and so of course I take my time staring at her cleavage, ass , and legs. Her body screams out sexuality, with her seeming to be totally unaware of it. Her long dark hair and eyes and cute aquiline nose, along with her straight posture and short stature call to mind fairies, and I think to myself.. “I would worship her in bed.” Even her stomach is something I want to take my time with while I eat her up mentally. With emotion out of the equation, proximity and context take over. What’s the context? I’m ovulating.

*fun fact* - Didn’t know that did you guys?

 Girls ovulating means we’re usually gonna be hornier, depending on our hormone level.

I’m a hormonal person. That’s a topic for another post though.

I’m ovulating, and I’m horny, I haven’t had sex in FOREVER and she’s standing there looking slightly sweaty and smelling great and seeming completely unavailable to me in every way, which leaves me free to amp up the mental part and get myself in a situation where I’m looking for a bathroom and some privacy.

That’s the context. But the intimacy hasn’t happened yet.

The intimacy happens when she looks over at me, and notices that I’ve got one of the cheesiest things ever on: a spray bottle with a fan. She asks if we can share, and I tell her yes. we put the lanyard on both our necks, and I’m trying terribly hard not to look too closely at the water droplets on her face and how perfect and soft her lips are because I know if I let myself register that last component : proximity, I might be caught staring a little too hard. We laugh and joke and she thanks me and we even sit together on the coaster, my thigh touching hers and sending thrills up my legs and collecting in my center. Both of us had an entirely different experience. Intimacy is a funny thing like that.

It’s a good example of intimacy, but it would have been a much better if we were both experiencing the same level of intimacy. So how can we get that with the “girl at the theme park” in our lives? Some people are so perfectly what we’re after that we mistakenly think they’re perfect and therefore completely out of reach.

That is mistake #1. I know that guys have heard it said that confidence is a big deal to women, but it’s so much more than that. Yes, she’s perfect to you. But no, she’s not perfect. In fact, she probably has about as many flaws as you do. (Unless it’s like Chris Griffin and the ginger girl from high school, then there’s no helping you) Understanding the fact that you are both not only human, but totally imperfect humans, will really help out a lot. The next commonly made mistake is not thinking. It sounds obvious, but it really isn’t. If you’re like me and can do a little mental boogy in you’re head before you meet someone, and are also like me in that you’re mental boogy involves imagining that person naked, then you’re already amped up before you meet that person. You go up to them, and start talking, and you’ve already done two things wrong. So stop. Before you go up to a girl that is UBER hot to you.

And I keep saying to you, because you know there’s always someone out there who wouldn’t touch her with someone else’s dick. Don’t get offended, the shits just true. It’s like going on stage. If she’s that hot, your nerves are going to be almost the same as performing in front of an auditorium. You know what I mean. When you think about it, you wouldn’t go in front of a crowd and start singing A Capella with no practice, right? So when you see that awesome amazing unbelievably hot girl that you HAVE to talk to , if you can, postpone it. This gives you the opportunity to THINK about what you really want to say, instead of what just comes into your mind at the moment, which is of course going to be “boobs”. Now that you’ve gone up to her and are ready to talk, don’t. Yes you’ve introduced yourself but just take 1 second while she’s doing the same to make a mental note: She’s probably not on the same level of intimacy that you are. If you remember that, you can easily communicate in an appropriate way based on her level of intimacy and be as confident as you were meant to be, letting her get to know the real you and helping her to develop her intimacy level to match yours. Who knows, soon she could be brushing up against you on purpose ;).

Next Episode: S&M and Bondage. What’s it really all about?

I look forward to getting intimate with you ;)

<3